Coming Home isn't Easy
by BreckinxM
Summary: Alexandra Cabot finds out that coming home isn't as easy as she hoped it would be when Olivia Benson doesn't let her just walk back in like it's normal. A/O Rated M for later, hopefully, chapters.
1. Chapter 1

"She's kinda angry."

Elliot Stabler, her partner, told me with a smile as I watched the gorgeous woman stand in the interrogation room. She was leaning against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest, and she was looking blankly down at the floor under the table. "What happened?" I asked, not taking my eyes off of her face. "This perp, a wannabe physcologist, ran his little test on her. Told her the results meant that her mother never truly loved her and that her father probably wanted to rape her. I think he bs'ed his way under her skin but… I don't know. She's been in there since I took the guy to a cell." He told me and then left with a sigh.

I walked in and her chocolate eyes looked at me, fixing on my own blue eyes with a glare, before her body became rigid and she wore a cold and stony look on her face. I missed the fragile and lonely woman I'd seen moments before.

"What the hell are you doing?" She demanded and I sighed. "I'm here because Elliot found me talking to John and Fin and he asked me to come talk to you." I explained, setting my coat and briefcase down on the table before looking at her again.

She was different then I remembered. Her eyes were richer and sweeter. Her hair looked soft and tempting. She had laugh lines that looked precious on her rich skin. Her body seemed different too- She seemed stronger, skinnier and yet curvier in all the right ways, taller, and her breasts were larger.

"Yeah, well guess what counselor? I don't need to talk to you. I'm not a victim, I don't need an attorney, and you're not the person I thought you where." She said and frowned tighter. "I don't think you're even Alexandra Cabot anymore."

I felt my heart clench, I had no reason to be in the interrogation room but I couldn't stop myself from giving her a reply. "I thought about you. Everyday. Elliot too. I prayed for you… I know you where never into religion but I prayed. For you, Elliot, and all of you guys. I found out what little I could from news articles but it wasn't much." I said and she looked at me incredulously. "They invented this handy little device. It can be used to get in contact with anyone. It's called a phone." She said, pulling out her iPhone and wiggling it in front of me. "Our numbers never changed." She whispered, hurt.

I nodded and pulled my wallet out from my briefcase, taking out a white wrinkled card from it and smiling.

It had the NYPD logo on one side and the SVU logo on the other. It read:

Detective Olivia Benson

Special Victims Unit.

Her number was underneath that including a written number on the back. Her desk phone and, the one on the back, was her cell. "Remember when you gave me this? It was my first case with you all. You where the first to volunteer your number and time." I said softly and handed it to her, our fingers brushing as she checked to see if it was actually the same card. Her bright eyes grew a little wider and her sculpted eyebrows rose slightly, she still kept her shock on low levels.

"It's the real deal." I whispered and took it back, fondly running my fingers over her title and name before putting it back in my wallet and setting that into my briefcase. "Why do you still have that?" She asked and I brushed a lock of my hair back to look at her. "In case I ever needed you… Which I very, very much did but was not allowed to call-" "Bullshit! I know you've been out for three years. I know you've been out for three years. You could've come back! You could've worked here! You could've called!" She cut me off forcefully.

"You're still just as feisty as ever… Just as I left you. I don't have a cover. I started running a private practice under my final false identity- Angelina Knight- and I didn't have the heart to leave when they set me free. You all had Casey Novak, she was working just fine for all of you." I said with a sigh before collecting my items and starting to leave.

Once I opened the door Olivia spoke up "She was no you." she said softly and brokenly. I knew she was aching inside and so hurt. "You can hide your feelings all you want Liv and I know you can… Call me if you finally want to share." I said, looking over my shoulder at her. "My number never changed either." I added and then left. I knew I could've said something more but I wasn't willing to do so yet.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi everyone. Thanks so much for the reviews. I decided to give you guys another chapter! Huzzah! Sorry for it's length- It's pretty short but it's sweet... I thought. I hope you guys enjoy!

- Breckin

* * *

"Can we talk?"

I smiled slightly at the words she spoke so softly on the phone. "Yeah sure. Where should we talk? I asked and she gave me the address of a little coffee shop she liked.

I met her there and smiled warmly as she walked in, she dressed so perfectly for her body. She was wearing dark jeans and a tight short sleeve black v0neck under a dark vest. "What would you like to discuss?" I asked as we settled into our seats across from each other. We both ordered coffee and I re-asked my question. "What's on your mind?" I asked and she looked right at me, seemingly right through me. "You." She said honestly.

I instantly got goosebumps and looked at the table. "Alex, talk to me." She said and her hand moved to lay overtop of mine. It was so soft and warm. "Why are you thinking about me? I thought you hated me." I whispered and she shook her head with a sigh. "I was mad at you but do you know why?" She asked and I shrugged. "You left me… Before I knew what I was going to do."

It was cryptic and she didn't give an explanation as she sipped her coffee in silence. I knew I wasn't going to be told what it was.

"You've gotten softer." This statement made her set down her coffee and crinkle her nose in confusion. "Explain." She said and I smiled weakly. "You're softer. Your features, your face, you hands where always super soft but they're softer still. You're more delicate then I remember."

"You're softer too counselor. I remember you kicking ass in your high heels. Now you're just kicking about in your high heels. I like both sides. But this side isn't flirting with me. I don't enjoy that part." I laughed but she wore a genuine smile "I'm serious. Flirt."

"Well you look real good Liv. You're a hottie." I told her and she ran her fingers through her hair, giving a mock flattered appearance. "Stop. You're making me blush." She joked and winked.

I nodded "You do look hot. I love how good your hair looks and your eyes are gorgeous. Your laugh lines are a major turn on. But anytime now you can flirt back." I said and we both finished our coffees. "Alright, I will but let's go somewhere first." She said and held her soft hand out toward me.

I took it and she laced our fingers together. "I missed you." She said as we walked out into the warm night. "I missed you too." I responded and we walked off into New York with happy smiles on our faces.


	3. Chapter 3

"Isn't the moon pretty?"

I looked at her and then followed her eye line, seeing the full moon. "Yes but I see something far prettier." I said and she smiled at Olivia who rolled her eyes jokingly. "Flattery will get you everywhere counselor." I watched her as she examining me. "You're looking real good too, Alex." She breathed and stroked my cheek before we continued on and I could tell where we were headed by how well she knew the path and the fact that she pulled the keys.

"Are you taking me home?" I asked in mock shock before Olivia laughed "You don't mind that do you? I was thinking we could watch a film- Don't instantly jump to sex just because I'm part of the sex police." She warned gently and we started up some stairs.

Once we were in her apartment she excused herself and told me to make myself at home. I slid off my shoes and stretched slightly before I started looking at her hung pictures. As I looked around I also took notice of how nicer this new apartment was and how it was littered with photos of her and Elliot and her and the unit.

Olivia snuck up behind me and laughed "Remember this one?" she asked and pointed to a picture of us in a photo booth. She was kissing my cheek and I was pretending to be shocked. "Yes, I had that one in my house." I admitted and turned around to see what she'd gone off to get. I smiled at the fact that she'd changed.

Olivia stood in front of me wearing a sleeveless NYPD work out shirt and a pair of boxers. I nodded approvingly before smiling at the cute and messy ponytail. "Remember earlier when I said you're hot? I take it back. You're not hot at all. You're so far beyond that." I told her and she laughed "You're too kind sweets. Make yourself comfy on the couch. I'll put on a movie." She ordered and put in a DVD, got two drinks for us, dimmed the lights and locked up her apartment.

She settled into the spot next to me on the couch and I knew this was going to be a very hard night. I was sitting next to Olivia, who had on boxers that were showing off her gorgeous legs and soft, smooth skin while also wearing a sleeveless shirt that showed off her long and perfectly muscled arms. It was hard and I looked at the movie with a sigh. "Long night…" I whispered to myself.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry everyone! This is the shortest chapter yet! :P I'll tell you what. In exchange for some reviews I'll upload the next chapter TODAY. :D 3

~BreckinxM

* * *

"Are you enjoying it?"

The question was whispered into the dark and I nodded with a small smile. "I like it." I admitted and watched as Olivia seemed more interested at the woman that entered the scene. I loved how her eyes where lit up by the television and she wore a small smile as she watched two women hit it off.

I felt electricity in the small area in between the two of us and I slowly moved to rest my head on her shoulder. She stiffened for a moment before relaxing and sighing happily. I moved to nuzzle her neck gently with my nose, feeling like some kind of teenager.

"So how good is this movie?" I whispered, almost flush against her neck, and it caused her to shiver gently. She muted the movie and I pulled back with a questioning look on my face. She moved to put a lock of my hair behind my ear and I shut my eyes, loving the sweet little movement, before my eyes snapped open wide as Olivia's lips where against mine.

It felt like fireworks exploding all over as we kissed and Olivia's fingers slid into my hair before I pulled back to look into her big brown eyes. She shut off the television and left us in the dark except for the light coming from the hallway she'd disappeared down before. "Come on." She urged me and we went to her bedroom. It was gorgeous, warm, inviting, and sensual.

Olivia handed me a baggy shirt and pajama bottoms before letting me know there was an extra, brand new and unused, toothbrush in the bathroom. She also told me to hurry back. I changed and brushed my teeth before I made my way into the bedroom, seeing Olivia sprawled out on her bed and relaxing. "Bed time. Don't worry, no sex." She told me and held open her arms. I got into them and snuggled closer, both of us becoming instantly comfortable.

She started running her fingers through my hair and it felt so good that I started to drift off slowly. "Night baby girl." I heard her whispered to me ad then I fell asleep to dreams of sweet chocolate eyes, kisses, hugs, gorgeous laughs, and soft hands.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey everybody!

Thanks for the reviews! Sorry for such a long wait on this chapter. I promise to have another up this weekend as a reward for the patience! Thanks for the reviews, again, on not only _Coming Home Isn't Easy_ but also on _Jealous Guy_. It means a lot to me!

- BreckinxM

* * *

In the morning I woke up to no warm arms or soft hands. My eyes sprang open and I fully expected to be alone in the dark back in my old apartment where I lived as Angelina. But I was in Olivia Benson's warn bed and beautiful room with a note on her pillow. It read:

_Alex,_

_Ran out to get us some breakfast. Be back ASAP. (I left at 9:17 AM, just in case anything happens) Please don whatever you'd like… Except leave cause then I'd miss you. Be back shortly._

_XO_

_Liv_

I ran my index finger over the x and the o before I got up. I undressed, showered, and borrowed more of Olivia's clothes before looking around a little more out of pure curiosity. I spotted a picture and moved over to it with a frown, knowing that it was going to just be painful for me to visit with some of Olivia's personal memories that she'd made when I was gone.

It was Olivia and Casey, they where laughing and it was clear they where having a good time. It made my stomach clench tightly. But I had no idea what I was doing. Did I want to date Olivia Benson? I mean I knew I was attracted to her, like no other. I lived for us flirting, us touching, us pretending to be a couple sometimes when we used to go out.

I sighed and walked away from the unsettling photo before spotting Olivia's sketchpad tucked under another book. No doubt she'd hidden it in case anyone came over. I moved to pull it out and remember that she doodled in her spare time. She walked in while I was resting on the couch and looking through the first few pages. "You'll find a drawing of my brother Simon in there." She admitted as she set down the breakfast and the coffees. "Brother?" I asked, alarmed.

I watched her take off her dark leather jacket, settle next to me on the couch, and nod. "Half brother. Ran my blood and I found him. I also found out my father has been keeping tabs on me my whole life and that he even admitted that I was his daughter to people. He's dead now though." She explained and turned to the page where a guy had Simon written on his shoulder. I set it down and started to eat the breakfast sandwich she'd gotten me.

"Still not going to draw up anything for SVU?" I asked and she laughed "No. I keep them separate. Last thing I need is a perp mocking my art in interrogation as well as my attitude or whatever.." She mumbled and started to eat her sandwich as well. I knew Olivia was sensitive, more then she let on .

"Where you close to Casey Novak?" I asked abruptly, unable to help myself when the question was gnawing at my insides. She coughed slightly, apparently breathing in some of the sandwich, before taking a sip of coffee and looking at me. "Yes, she was a friend." she answered. "Friends like us?" I suggested and looked into my cup of coffee, just trying to understand what it was about them.

"She and I were friends. Not like you and I were… Trust me. You and I… Well, we could barely be classified as just friends." She told me and I nodded with a small smile, she was right. The smile faded though and I knew I had another question to ask. "What are we? Are we an us?"

It made her withdraw a little. I always knew she wouldn't trust me when I came back. "I'm no Elliot Stabler huh?" I whispered and she looked at me. "He's had my back for eleven years now. Solid. I- Okay, that's not fair… I ditched Elliot once. I pulled the rug right out from under him. Didn't tell anyone what was up and went undercover. I pretended to be a hippie by the name of Persephone. My hair was insanely long and curly, you would've loved it. I let my art blossom and I even learned how to play acoustic guitar. I became someone else and, when I got back, Elliot didn't have my back. Didn't trust me for months. We had to get back into it and that's what you and I need to work on first. Maybe we're jumping the gun getting this close.."

She looked at me and sighed "But, when I look at you, all I want to do is kiss you." she admitted and smiled weakly before stroking my cheek gently. "Can you still play the guitar?" I asked curiously and she laughed but added a nod. "I can. I'm rusty and don't have a guitar but I could play one." She told me.

I moved to kiss her very gently before pulling back "Play for me sometime." I ordered and she nodded happily before picking up the sketchpad and showing me a drawing of a baby. "Elliot's newest child. I helped deliver him." She told me and I looked at the baby before Olivia showed me a picture of her holding a baby boy. "He's name is Elliot Jr. but we call him Eli." She explained.

Her hair was shorter and richer but I paid more attention to the wide and loving eyes that where on the baby in her arms. He was looking up at her in return. Olivia's shirt had blood on it and she looked worn out with deep rings around her eyes but truly happy. It was obviously a moment of happiness in a hectic day.

"Who took this?" I asked and looked at Olivia. "Elliot. Said Eli needed to have a copy to show him the brave savior watching over him. Apparently I'm Saint Olivia, patron saint of special victims and children." She laughed softly but I nodded. "I understand that."

She looked at me, her beautiful brown eyes analyzing me thoughtfully. I moved to set down the picture of her and the baby before sighing softly "I don't know what you're thinking but I do know you need to get going. Off to work. So do I honestly." Her face seemed to fall a little bit before she smiled "I'll see you at work though, right?" She asked and I nodded at how sweet the request was "For you? Anything."

I walked her down to her car before kissing her cheek and playing with her hair. "I'd like to see it short again." I admitted and then ruffled it before starting to get a taxi. I didn't want her to be late for dropping me off. It was going to be a good day.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey everyone,

As I said- I am giving you all a gift for my lack of updating!

In this chapter I'm changing up the P.O.V. Felt like Alex was getting too greedy.

So, where it used to be Alex's mindset it's now in Olivia's.

Sorry if that's confusing!

XO

- BreckinxM

* * *

"Hey Liv. We where-"

I smiled and knew Elliot was going to say something. I'd taken a little longer getting to work because I'd stopped off at a friends and let her cut my hair. I laughed as he moved over to touch it. "What salon is open this early?" He asked in a confused voice. "My stylist is also a good friend and she was up getting her kids ready for school. I had her squeeze me in. What do you think? I mean I've had the cut before but it's been a few years." I explained and he nodded. "I always like your hair shorter. That way mine doesn't seem so short." He joked and I punched him playfully.

He laughed and ruffled my hair before moving to put on his jacket. "We've gotta go. Got a woman that's been rapped in the park. Why is it always Central Park?" He asked and I sighed "Good thing I got us coffee in the car. I'm driving." I told him and he nodded "You get bossy with short hair too." he joked and I eyed him. "I've got my gun." I warned before we both laughed and started to the car.

"What've we got?" I asked Warner who sighed and fixed her big eyes on me, I knew she was very upset. "Rape/Homicide. Her name is Elsa Woods. She's twenty and a student at Siena College." She told me and my eyes widened "I went there. I was in a sorority." I told her simply and she nodded "Get over there. Because I don't think she was murdered or rapped here. I think this was a drop."

I looked over at Elliot and he nodded with a sigh "I guess we'll have to go talk to her family too." he said and I knew that was his least favorite part. As we where walking to my car I received a text and I tossed Elliot the keys "Don't wreck my baby though." I added as I read the text.

Alexandra Cabot: _So I hear you chopped your hair off. Went all butch on your hair? __J_

I laughed and shook my head. It was so awesome that she'd heard so quickly about my hair, I'd wanted to surprise her but of course she ruined it.

Olivia Benson: _Want a picture? :P You weren't supposed to find out. Maybe you should've been a cop? You find out information faster then El and I do._

I sighed as we started to Siena. I wasn't exactly thrilled to go back, mostly because it was under a sad reason that I had to return. But I just managed to grin, sort of, and bare it. It was intensely hard to walk back onto the campus.

After we talked to the dean at Siena and Elsa's family we started back to the house where Alex was seated on my desk. "I see you never asked for the picture." I said and she looked at me, a smile instantly sparking on her beautiful face as she got up and moved to touch my hair. "Wow! It looks really, really good. I don't ever remember it looking so good before." She said and I flinched "Ouch! Nice hit to my ego." I joked.

She started to slid her fingers into my hair and I almost let my eyes flutter closed before I remember where we were. I pulled back and scrunched up my nose with a wide smile "Coffee counselor?" I asked her as a cover for us to talk. She nodded and hurried over to the coffee station with me. "The new place is nice, yeah?" I asked her as we walked over, she nodded again, and then I started pouring two cups. "I've missed you, Liv." She whispered softly to me and I grinned "I've missed you too. I'm really glad you like my haircut. I want my girl to be pleased by the sight of me." I told her.

I could feel eyes on my back and I turned to look over my shoulder, seeing Elliot watching us with a fond smile. I knew he was aware of what was going on, I think he'd even checked my phone. I waved very girly at him and Alex laughed softly. I turned to look at how flawless Alex was when she laughed, her head tilted slightly back and exposed her perfect neck. Her bright blue eyes twinkled as she laughed at how silly Elliot was being. I sighed happily and shook my head "You're beautiful." I told her honestly and she moved to nudge my arm gently. "Do you have an extra key to your place?" She asked and I nodded "Yep, got a few when I gave one to biggie boy." I said and walked over to El, smacking his chest gently and swishing his tie.

I know he and I often looked like we where flirting and, despite my sexuality, we often did. We where best friends after all and I love Elliot. He's my protector in this crazy ass place. He laughed and moved to straighten his tie carefully as I got Alex an extra key in secret. I walked over and slipped the key into her hand before getting her the cup of coffee. "Any reason you want it?" I asked as she slid away the key and took the cup from me. I drank some of mine as well and arched my eyebrow as she moaned softly "This coffee is really good." she said with a smirk. I scrunched my nose up "Don't do that to me," I whispered over the cup before going to my desk.

I knew she had intentionally made that noise and it was killing me inside, I knew Alex was trying to get me fired up- I wasn't shocked that it was NOW that my hair was short that she wanted to see the angry and riled up me. Apparently that's how I was when my hair got spiky. I smirked and set down my coffee before getting up and walking over to her, getting in her face, and narrowing my eyes. "Why do you want my key? And actually tell me." I ordered and didn't care who was listening in.

Her eyes grew wide and she laughed "I want to make up a gorgeous dinner for you. You still like rare steak? Lobster tail? Shrimp?" she asked and my eyes grew large and I almost started drooling. "Oh yeah! You're going to make that for me? Oh sweetie." I said and wanted to hug her. "By the way, I don't know what you where thinking but I like your hair short or long- Either way I like getting you worked up." She told me and winked.

I watched her go, noticing her swinging her ass with more enthusiasm, and growled softly before Elliot was next to me. "Down killer. If you be a good girl you'll get a treat." He joked and held up his phone. "Pizza!" He breathed happily and started to ask what Munch and Fin wanted. I realized how starved I was then and turned away from where she'd gone off.

"So-tell-me-what's-going-on." He mumbled with a full mouth of pizza. I laughed before taking a sip of Coke and starting on my piece of pizza. "Dunno what yah mean." I responded and wiped off my mouth. "You. Cabot. Sex. What's the deal?" He asked and I was glad we'd chose to eat in the lounge upstairs that was often unvisited . "We aren't having sex, El. We're just… Getting closer." I said and he laughed loudly. "You didn't make out with me when you came back to the unit. Why wasn't I so lucky?" He commented and I looked at his goofy smile. "Ah El. I adore you. And of you weren't married and I wasn't gay then we would certainly have made out when I came back from Oregon." I promised and he looked over at me with a happy nod before settling in on finishing his slice of pizza. "I like that tie. Midnight blue. That's my favorite color and it makes your eyes look just so damn pretty." I told him and he nodded. "Naturally doll face." He added and I sighed, I loved how sweet Elliot was to me, before I moved to give him a slight hug.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

After work I started to my apartment with a half eaten box of extra cheese pizza to heat up for lunch tomorrow. I walked up to my apartment and opened the door, it struck me as weird when it didn't require me to unlock the door. I pulled out my gun and looked around but then I saw Alex in the kitchen and I remembered that she was there for a date. I slid my gun away, shut, and locked the door. "Baby cakes!" I hollered and heard her giggle.

She turned to look at me and I noticed the sexy dress she was wearing for the first time. I smirked and nodded "Oh damn honey. You're making my mouth water!" I said, using a fake accent, before taking off my leather jacket and setting my badge and gun down on the top shelf inside of a bright blue bowl. I then walked over to see the gorgeous setting she'd put out for us. A very bloody steak lay on one plate, shrimp in the middle, a salad on the other plate, and the lobster tail… Wasn't there?- "Where's my tail?" I asked and put on a pouty face. She laughed and patted my cheek "Couldn't find a fresh one. I was not going to get you a nasty old tail. It could probably put you in Mercy if you'd eaten it. You'll have to suffer with what I've made for you."

I laughed as well before kissing her cheek "I need a minute. Since you got dressed up I need to get dressed up." I vanished into my room, locked the door, and stripped. I even decided to get nicer lingerie on. I pulled on a black lacy bra and panties. I slid on some pinstripe pants and then put on my boots- I'd worn them on a case once, I had to pretend to be a dominatrix- before finding a black shirt and grey vest. I made sure that my make up was done just right before sprucing up my bedroom a lot more. It was usually an absolute pigsty but with a woman as rich and fancy as Alexandra Cabot… Well, I had to look like I was worthy.

I walked out and Alex looked over at me, her eyes instantly growing wide behind her glasses, before she wore a bright smile. "You're the one making my mouth water." She said and walked over, tugging gently on my vest. "You could probably rock a fedora with this. I'd like that a lot." She suggested and I moved to my closet, grabbing one and tipping it forward on my head. "Thoughts?" I asked with a sly smile before I saw a flash. I tipped the hat way back and looked, wide eyed, at the woman who snapped another picture. "Time for me to fill my apartment with memories." She told me and tucked the camera away on the counter. "You look too good not to take some photos of."

I laughed before pulling her chair out for her and grinning. "Time for our first date." She said and I nodded. It was going to be a good one.


End file.
